Postingan
The skills involved in raising a family and bringing up children are difficult to learn and no single approach fits every child - just because each child is unique. Yet a large proportion of modern parents seem to believe that the best way to acquire those skills is by consulting one or more of the thousands of books available in bookstores and online.
And it's ironic that what was considered "best practice" from one author some years ago is now completely contradicted by today's Best Seller or Number 1 Guru. In the first part of the twentieth century, for example, a structured routine was considered essential to prepare a baby and child for the disciplines and realities of adult life. One early introduction to discipline was for parents to avoid any instinct to pick up their baby as soon as he cried because then he would learn that he could expect attention on demand.
Then some new thinking emerged, notably from Dr Spock. His views were controversial at the time but they became one of the leading works of child care reference. He discredited the regime that demanded discipline and structure because, he argued, every child was unique and demanded a unique parenting stance. So, for example, giving your baby instant attention including lots of kisses and cuddles was now a good thing. And since then, many more "experts" have emerged with more and different opinions on exactly what the right approach is.
My own introduction to the joys and difficulties of raising a child was more than thirty years ago. At that time the use of books to become a parenting expert was thankfully still fairly rare and certainly not something I resorted to. Like most moms, I had doctors, midwives, family and friends to consult in addition to the natural instincts that I believe virtually all moms have.
And although I definitely don't consider myself an expert on child care, I wanted to outline the main things that I believe helped me and my children so that it may provoke your thoughts and ideas:
* Strengthening the bond between mom and baby by talking to him or her at feed time. This continued even after breast feeding changed to bottle feeding.
* Using our baby carriage in the open air of the back yard as a resting place for baby: this helped to bring on their more immediate and peaceful sleep. Obviously it is not feasible for working moms or those without a secure back yard - and today's more popular stroller is nothing like as good as a baby carriage for this purpose!
* Having a routine, albeit flexible, seemed to work well - especially at bed time. From being young babies the routine used to be bath, feed, story then crib even before they were sleeping through the night. Even as the children got older having a calm time before bed seemed to help them settle better for the night.
* Talking to young babies helps in their language development - I used to talk to them when I was bathing them, changing them, doing chores, when we went out in the car or out for a walk.
* Organizing my day so that in the afternoon I had time to devote to my children by focusing on housework in the morning.
* Presenting a united front to the children when it came to matters of discipline and routine. Children are just great at driving a wedge between Mom and Dad, even when they are very young, so we handled any Mom and Dad debates when the children were not around.
* Adopting a consistent set of rules and discipline. Our children responded to knowing what was expected of them and they (mostly) accepted decisions when they were given reasons, even if they didn't agree with them.
What I've listed above isn't a comprehensive blueprint and it isn't to be used as an unchanging formula, because (to emphasize the point I made at the start) it won't apply to everyone. Different parents will have different preferences - and above all else, different babies will respond differently. But you may find the tips give you some ideas in your own child raising tasks.
And it's ironic that what was considered "best practice" from one author some years ago is now completely contradicted by today's Best Seller or Number 1 Guru. In the first part of the twentieth century, for example, a structured routine was considered essential to prepare a baby and child for the disciplines and realities of adult life. One early introduction to discipline was for parents to avoid any instinct to pick up their baby as soon as he cried because then he would learn that he could expect attention on demand.
Then some new thinking emerged, notably from Dr Spock. His views were controversial at the time but they became one of the leading works of child care reference. He discredited the regime that demanded discipline and structure because, he argued, every child was unique and demanded a unique parenting stance. So, for example, giving your baby instant attention including lots of kisses and cuddles was now a good thing. And since then, many more "experts" have emerged with more and different opinions on exactly what the right approach is.
My own introduction to the joys and difficulties of raising a child was more than thirty years ago. At that time the use of books to become a parenting expert was thankfully still fairly rare and certainly not something I resorted to. Like most moms, I had doctors, midwives, family and friends to consult in addition to the natural instincts that I believe virtually all moms have.
And although I definitely don't consider myself an expert on child care, I wanted to outline the main things that I believe helped me and my children so that it may provoke your thoughts and ideas:
* Strengthening the bond between mom and baby by talking to him or her at feed time. This continued even after breast feeding changed to bottle feeding.
* Using our baby carriage in the open air of the back yard as a resting place for baby: this helped to bring on their more immediate and peaceful sleep. Obviously it is not feasible for working moms or those without a secure back yard - and today's more popular stroller is nothing like as good as a baby carriage for this purpose!
* Having a routine, albeit flexible, seemed to work well - especially at bed time. From being young babies the routine used to be bath, feed, story then crib even before they were sleeping through the night. Even as the children got older having a calm time before bed seemed to help them settle better for the night.
* Talking to young babies helps in their language development - I used to talk to them when I was bathing them, changing them, doing chores, when we went out in the car or out for a walk.
* Organizing my day so that in the afternoon I had time to devote to my children by focusing on housework in the morning.
* Presenting a united front to the children when it came to matters of discipline and routine. Children are just great at driving a wedge between Mom and Dad, even when they are very young, so we handled any Mom and Dad debates when the children were not around.
* Adopting a consistent set of rules and discipline. Our children responded to knowing what was expected of them and they (mostly) accepted decisions when they were given reasons, even if they didn't agree with them.
What I've listed above isn't a comprehensive blueprint and it isn't to be used as an unchanging formula, because (to emphasize the point I made at the start) it won't apply to everyone. Different parents will have different preferences - and above all else, different babies will respond differently. But you may find the tips give you some ideas in your own child raising tasks.
About the Author:
After bringing up her two children and operating a preschool, Paula has lots of experience to bring to the subject of raising a family. Check out her baby clothing and clothes for newborn babies site.
